Fear

I am a firm believer in the idea that fear is the root of anger, the source of greed, and the very heart of evil itself. I do not believe this because other authors have felt the same way or because some spiritual practices hold it to be true. I believe that fear is at the eye of a storm of negative human behavior because I have experienced fear and I have become part of that storm as a result. It should be the goal of all people to consciously evolve beyond allowing such a base instinct to guide us in our journeys.

Uncorrupted by habits of the psyche or emotional crutches, most of us begin our lives protected from anything that would do us obvious harm; all but fear. For a short time in our lives, before we learn to avoid, control or redirect emotion, fear is simply fear: anxiety coupled with desperation to no longer feel that way. When it comes, we cry, kick and even relieve ourselves in fits that begin to look like, and indeed someday turn into anger. This is the first step we take toward allowing fear to shape and mold us as we progress through life.

Some may stop here, for anger is a powerful tool. Turning on one’s source of fear - unleashing upon it all the anger and rage it has helped to create - will often result in the source experiencing fear itself, if not the absolute destruction of the source altogether. Others may be so adverse to fear that they simply project this rage at all times; a preemptive strike against any source of fear that they may encounter. Whichever the tactic, the result is cyclical and only adds to the overall issue by creating more sources of fear.

As we grow in body and mind, we will discover many more ways to avoid or divert fear. Some may choose to continue wielding their anger, but many others branch out as other methods are found. Fear soon leads us to discover deception, greed, torture and many other tools with which we can counter fear regardless of their effects on others around us.

As children, we fear being corrected, often times because it comes in the form of punishment. A young soul that is still learning right from wrong does nothing out of spite or with ill intent; as such it is not fair to punish them for any action. Most people simply do not wish to take the time to impart true wisdom, so they choose the easy road by attempting to create a negative association with the action they do not desire. Throwing food equals ‘time out’. It should not be surprising that this is rarely such a simple equation at an age when new associations are being made by the millions, perhaps billions in very short periods of time. Throwing food plus fibbing does not always equal ‘time out’, or some other punishment. Deception is born, but it does not end fear; they feast upon each other.

Perhaps next we find that some fear, the fear of not having a home, food, or even just toys and nice clothes can be avoided through hording possessions, and later currency. As we mature, those that fear loss and poverty will do their best to obtain more and more wealth, all-the-while ignoring the urgent needs of others and inducing the very things they fear upon them. One may attempt to justify this greed with thoughts of entitlement – I earned this yacht – or malicious sarcasm – the bum would just buy booze – but the fact remains that millions starve so that a select few may amass the majority of humankind’s worth for their own uses…all because of fear.

Approaching adolescence, and perhaps earlier for those raised by abusive parents, we also learn that fear can be redirected and avoided through physical acts of violence. An excellent, if not cliché, example is the school yard bully, fearing that the brainy child will expose some mental ineptitude. A good beating will deter said brainy child from ever exposing the stronger bully’s lack of intelligence. The true tragedy of this example, and the reason I feel it must be admitted despite it being quite the dead horse, is that it is everywhere we look in the adult world. From simple, mindless gang-violence to organized military action – these are all orchestrated by people who would choose to torture or even kill others rather than be exposed as weak in some way.

As we bloom into adults, we refine our existing ways of avoiding fear, finding those that work best for us and new, more subtle ways to gain a false sense of control over our lives. The goal of manipulating or intimidating others into feeling our fears for us becomes the grotesque mold into which we allow our very souls to settle over time. Because of our unwillingness to face our fears and overcome them, because of our laziness in finding easier ways ‘around’ our fear, we doom ourselves to meaningless and sad lives with no purpose other than to avoid fear that is, itself, often generated by others stuck in this same loop.

It is never too late to reject this process, however.  In the following days, you can embrace your fear, learn about it and learn to stand face-to-face with it. Watch your interactions with others: Is there really a reason to be upset with a sales clerk, or are you afraid of some part of the shopping experience? Do you need to violate the terms of your relationship via an affair, or are you afraid of growing older and less attractive? Do you need the expensive new furniture, or do you fear being the only one on the block with ‘old toys’?

Once you can see your fear and you know what you allow it to do to your life, you can put a stop to these behaviors. Yes, I am saying to give away your excess money – you don’t need it now, nor will you ever if we all let go of our fears. Yes, I am saying to be true and honest to those around you – not just your family and friends, but everyone. And yes, I am saying you should be kind – even to those that may inconvenience you by making a mistake of some kind. You can ease their fear immediately with a warm smile and words of reassurance that all will be forgiven.

I leave you with these observations so that you will hopefully begin to make them in your own life as well. I know I have much to work on, but so do we all. It is important, though, that we remember that each and every person we encounter has some fear with which they must deal, but it is never our place to forcefully point it out to them. Live, learn, help…but never judge.

-Xen